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先聲明,文章其實有點靠北,請小心服用。XD
(明明很愛你的MV其實很好笑。)

作者: Liaooo (廖震) 看板: sex
標題: Re: [閒聊] 女友是別人泡友
時間: Fri Jan 22 08:19:21 2010

兄弟,別難過。你目前遇到的狀況是這樣(請參考MV,謝謝!):
                                                                               

《詞/曲/吳克群‧改編/Liaooo》
                                                                               
(女) 偷偷偷偷人三回,也明白其中滋味,那些人從來不會比你還差。
                                                                               
     我卻還在,等待著,誰能~出現~~
                                                                               
(男) 傷傷傷傷了幾回,也曾經為愛憔悴,愛情裡好人總比壞人狼狽。
                                                                               
     我卻還是,學不會,狠心~對誰~~
                                                                               
(女) 男人男人,誰叫你是個好人,多希望你別天真,不用再為我心疼~
                                                                               
(男) 女人女人,我只想做個好人,我答應用這綠光,來換妳的快樂一生。  (後略)

                                                                               
                                                                               
劈腿這種事情,男女生都會。
                                                                               
只差別在一般男生比較粗心,守不住秘密;
                                                                               
女生內心的秘密藏得比較久(可參考鐵達尼號的Rose),少有直接攤牌的。

 女生會主動跟你講,只有兩種情況:
                                                                               
1.實在太傻太天真,以為這種事情真的可以「坦白從寬」。
                                                                               
2.無論基於任何理由,她想跟你分手。
                                                                               
                                                                               
所以個人建議,Be a man,果決地直接對她唱下面這一首歌(請點連結,感恩^^):
                                                                               

《原唱/伍百‧改編/Liaooo》
                                                                               
 海上的 船螺聲已經響起  雖然對妳情綿綿  今日要來離開
 心愛的 想要看妳珠淚滴  在我不在的日子  盡量糟蹋自己
                                                                               
 趴七仔 總有坎坷路要行  督丟破拔 甘苦到我的心肝
 男兒啊 立志他鄉為查某  和我團圓 在妳作夢的時
                                                                               
 最後的 船螺聲又再響起  猶原想要來離開  手放開心愛的 再會啦~~
                                                                               
不用去探究她為何為會出軌,因為「劈腿的理由都是假的,只有劈腿是真的。」
                                                                               
記得「三草定理」嗎? 「好兔不吃窩邊草、好馬不吃回頭草、天涯何處無芳草?」
                                                                               
舊的不去,新的永遠不會來,搞不好...下一個會更好。
                                                                               
                                                                               
不過,假如真的割捨不下...,個人建議,度量大一點,乾脆就包容她的一切吧!
                                                                               
對,先別計較那麼多,沒聽過法板常說:「若真的愛她,便要能接受她的一切」嗎?
                                                                               
學會包容之後,再用心地鍛鍊體能,以及學習如何取悅女孩子的技巧。
                                                                               
不過,心態上必須先調適過來,請參考:
                                                                               

《原唱/品冠&梁靜茹‧改編/Liaooo》
                                                                               
(女) 有很多人在床邊 請你都視而不見~,請不要忍不住多看幾眼 感覺自卑
                                                                               
       已經閉上了雙眼 已經呻吟到極限~,沒擋頭的人猶豫的瞬間 候補就站在面前

(男) 我不能再起而妳 像發情猩猩 讓我擔心
                                                                               
(合) 明明很愛你 明明想靠近
                                                                               
(男) 但是妳的床邊有人排隊總是擁擠~,我要怎麼一一打敗情敵 再大聲說要做妳的唯一
                                                                               
(合) 明明很愛妳 明明想靠近  為什麼還要浪費時間不幹久一點
    (明明很愛我 明明想靠近  為什麼還不努力鍛鍊變持久一點)
                                                                               
     夠大支 才是最厲害的武器 我會拼命讓妳更滿意
    (夠大支 就是最厲害的武器 你要拼命讓我更滿意)
                                                                (後略)
                                                                               
                                                                               
對了,先忍著,等你的表現能讓她百分百滿意,
                                                                               
那她自然而然會捨棄掉其他人,乖乖窩在你懷裡的。
                                                                               
                                                                               
不過,假如你先天上真的有點...「不足」,

或她其實是覺得跟你在一起「看不見將來」,才要另覓對象怎麼辦?
                                                                               
                                                                               
沒關係,這就是身為男人的好處。
                                                                               
我們男人不用擔心外表會變老、頭髮會變少;
                                                                               
只要從現在起奮發向上,將來努力賺錢,拼命累積經驗和財富即可。
                                                                               
                                                                               
別忘了,「有錢,屌就大!」呀~
                                                                               
                                                                               
願共勉之

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